CWP 6 ~ Decisions...
Creative Writing Process 6 ~ decisions
Now comes a hard part, trying to decide what I like about the rewrite... I tried to wait a few days to read it again so I could pretend it was someone else story and see what I felt about it.
In general, I liked it...
Title Change:
I decided calling it "The Soulless Doll" might give it away too soon. I wanted the reader to figure it out on their own as they read the story. Except for us doing the tutorial, a new reader would not know it was a doll at first. I think they would think it was a handicapped person probably... Then the slow realization that no, not a person, but what??!!
Looking through your eyes:
I think everyone has felt that at some point, the feeling someone is looking through your eyes or that they are sort of fingering around your brain looking for a weak spot to get in or something... Spider sense I think the comic books call it? or is it spider tingling? I forget... but anyway... that feeling I think helps create the creepy sensation I want to build.
The Boys:
I need to throw them in a bit more I think... I can picture that scene so well, the 2 boys leaning over a big rock and aiming a bb gun at birds... Each taking a turn, the older one manages to get one in flight and turns to his younger brother for approval of a great shot. The younger stares at him funny because he sees a different face then his brothers looking at him and this is when we realize the story is about a doll... I think I messed that part here in this version, sigh! but it is a rough draft so... time to fix it and any other areas I think are lacking...
Taking Control:
I hope it creeped you out to think how easy it was for a few seconds to have the doll taking control of the boy. How it loved the energy the boy generated from his "killer's high"...
I really loved the idea the price the doll paid to be able to do it, it would wear him out and he would be weak and helpless for a bit... can use that in the sequel when someone needs to get the doll... :p A mind warrior goes into battle with it, letting it "take control" so it wears itself out then he follows it to the doll body for a war... hehe, getting way ahead of myself...
All Souls Day / Halloween
This served 2 purposes, it gives me a 'sell by" date so someone will have to get this doll before Halloween or wait a whole year for another chance... Plus, it is a day when the dead can cross over to our world. Really creepy thought but also a wonderful one too, I guess depending on how you imagine the dead... :p It combines the real and the imaginary in a fun way I think. Lets the reader believe that on this night it could happen, maybe...
Indigenous
I wanted to show how being Indigenous differs tremendously from being a Westerner in terms of world views and reactions to that view. Indigenous see it all connected together and every bit matters. The doll has never met one before so can not understand why he is having such trouble getting control of my mind. It runs into a searing white light that stops it from getting close enough to try. It tries when I am asleep but nature protects her own and he gets "bitch-slapped" as he calls it back to his doll body :p
Script thoughts
This was done as a sort of inside joke, those reading my blog know I am an emerging indie director. I thought it would be amusing to show the thoughts in this way. Like immersion in a foreign culture sort of thing where you begin thinking that way :p
I still can not decide whether to keep it or not, leaning towards keeping it though. It helps separate his life, the boys to the shop to here nicely I think. So maybe I will keep it. I kept it short on purpose since it is a glimpse only.
The Shop
This I think I did well but could use some work too... I liked how he realized she wanted to get into his doll body and live with him forever but he had other plans. His own blood lust undoes him though and he is stuck inside the doll and trapped even more then before. With her dead he can not easily jump out since they had years to build a bond together.
Punctuation / Sentence Structure
I half feel I should apologize but also believe it does show the creative process realistically. I can picture and think of it faster then I can type so going back to correct a typo I notice will really throw off my story. I can see it in several places, so ooppps!
But don't be afraid to write because of this! I am sure if you live close to a college or have Internet access you can find someone to help you edit it for pretty cheap.
I think it is a good sign that you were in "the zone" when it happens though (hehe, wink wink)
Ending
find someone weak I can take over is his wish :p For a short film, it would make a good ending I think... have people thinking "oh pick me, pick me!"
Editing ~ the hard part ...
I come to one of the hard parts in writing a story. Trying to decide where I need to fix it and where it is just fine. I like it to sound as if it could not have been written any other way. I guess where I don't leave questions or thoughts adrift... like in the first concept draft, people could possible wonder about the demon and lady and what happened to them... Taking them out saves me that trouble of throwing in unneeded stuff. Now that I have just a few characters, I need to make sure it flows the way I want it to.
So, I ask myself about the timeline, is it too linear?
Should I start with the ending bit after the second script cut? tell the rest in flashback? A lot do start with the ending and tell the story in reverse form... But don't think it would work as effectively with this story... Unless I gave the shopkeeper a bigger role maybe... Have it start with his 'waking up', that pain the second Halloween and then go flashback to the boys and then end with me again...
Did that make sense? it would be
Remember, this short story is part of my "prank" idea... It would be posted on the auction page, along with his picture and a touch up kit and the YouTube "tutorials"... The film part would help build it up... where I am creating the prank but the doll will really twitch a corner of his eye or something... just enough to create intrigue :p
So the goal of the story is to convince the reader that the doll really is alive :p Did I do it? I love the part where it gets a glimpse of himself when he is trying to sneak up on me as I sleep. His outline is sort of like a scarecrow-ish one, like you would see a shadow of one looking like with the ragged hay sticking out of it's neck. Except it is showing dark soul energy that scares him.
I gave us a deadline too, I love that part. gives us all summer to create the story and build up the story! So, begin saving because his "buy now" price will be the $11,000 needed to get my B & H equipment :p
I was trying to work on S'happens today but kept drifting toward this so decided to just get a blog done and go back to my film. At a crucial part so taking my time and making sure I get the best idea!
Hope you enjoy a glimpse at my creative process! Share, comment, like and follow me!
hugs,
~Sea
Now comes a hard part, trying to decide what I like about the rewrite... I tried to wait a few days to read it again so I could pretend it was someone else story and see what I felt about it.
In general, I liked it...
Title Change:
I decided calling it "The Soulless Doll" might give it away too soon. I wanted the reader to figure it out on their own as they read the story. Except for us doing the tutorial, a new reader would not know it was a doll at first. I think they would think it was a handicapped person probably... Then the slow realization that no, not a person, but what??!!
Looking through your eyes:
I think everyone has felt that at some point, the feeling someone is looking through your eyes or that they are sort of fingering around your brain looking for a weak spot to get in or something... Spider sense I think the comic books call it? or is it spider tingling? I forget... but anyway... that feeling I think helps create the creepy sensation I want to build.
The Boys:
I need to throw them in a bit more I think... I can picture that scene so well, the 2 boys leaning over a big rock and aiming a bb gun at birds... Each taking a turn, the older one manages to get one in flight and turns to his younger brother for approval of a great shot. The younger stares at him funny because he sees a different face then his brothers looking at him and this is when we realize the story is about a doll... I think I messed that part here in this version, sigh! but it is a rough draft so... time to fix it and any other areas I think are lacking...
Taking Control:
I hope it creeped you out to think how easy it was for a few seconds to have the doll taking control of the boy. How it loved the energy the boy generated from his "killer's high"...
I really loved the idea the price the doll paid to be able to do it, it would wear him out and he would be weak and helpless for a bit... can use that in the sequel when someone needs to get the doll... :p A mind warrior goes into battle with it, letting it "take control" so it wears itself out then he follows it to the doll body for a war... hehe, getting way ahead of myself...
All Souls Day / Halloween
This served 2 purposes, it gives me a 'sell by" date so someone will have to get this doll before Halloween or wait a whole year for another chance... Plus, it is a day when the dead can cross over to our world. Really creepy thought but also a wonderful one too, I guess depending on how you imagine the dead... :p It combines the real and the imaginary in a fun way I think. Lets the reader believe that on this night it could happen, maybe...
Indigenous
I wanted to show how being Indigenous differs tremendously from being a Westerner in terms of world views and reactions to that view. Indigenous see it all connected together and every bit matters. The doll has never met one before so can not understand why he is having such trouble getting control of my mind. It runs into a searing white light that stops it from getting close enough to try. It tries when I am asleep but nature protects her own and he gets "bitch-slapped" as he calls it back to his doll body :p
Script thoughts
This was done as a sort of inside joke, those reading my blog know I am an emerging indie director. I thought it would be amusing to show the thoughts in this way. Like immersion in a foreign culture sort of thing where you begin thinking that way :p
I still can not decide whether to keep it or not, leaning towards keeping it though. It helps separate his life, the boys to the shop to here nicely I think. So maybe I will keep it. I kept it short on purpose since it is a glimpse only.
The Shop
This I think I did well but could use some work too... I liked how he realized she wanted to get into his doll body and live with him forever but he had other plans. His own blood lust undoes him though and he is stuck inside the doll and trapped even more then before. With her dead he can not easily jump out since they had years to build a bond together.
Punctuation / Sentence Structure
I half feel I should apologize but also believe it does show the creative process realistically. I can picture and think of it faster then I can type so going back to correct a typo I notice will really throw off my story. I can see it in several places, so ooppps!
But don't be afraid to write because of this! I am sure if you live close to a college or have Internet access you can find someone to help you edit it for pretty cheap.
I think it is a good sign that you were in "the zone" when it happens though (hehe, wink wink)
Ending
find someone weak I can take over is his wish :p For a short film, it would make a good ending I think... have people thinking "oh pick me, pick me!"
Editing ~ the hard part ...
I come to one of the hard parts in writing a story. Trying to decide where I need to fix it and where it is just fine. I like it to sound as if it could not have been written any other way. I guess where I don't leave questions or thoughts adrift... like in the first concept draft, people could possible wonder about the demon and lady and what happened to them... Taking them out saves me that trouble of throwing in unneeded stuff. Now that I have just a few characters, I need to make sure it flows the way I want it to.
So, I ask myself about the timeline, is it too linear?
Should I start with the ending bit after the second script cut? tell the rest in flashback? A lot do start with the ending and tell the story in reverse form... But don't think it would work as effectively with this story... Unless I gave the shopkeeper a bigger role maybe... Have it start with his 'waking up', that pain the second Halloween and then go flashback to the boys and then end with me again...
Did that make sense? it would be
- scene where he wakes up on first Halloween with shop lady
- he is becoming aware over the next year
- the second Halloween he is not sure what her ritual is supposed to do and is surprised by the terrible pain that makes him black out
- he wakes up and begins to remember it all as the next Halloween approaches
- the the beginning of story as normal just skipping part already told...
Remember, this short story is part of my "prank" idea... It would be posted on the auction page, along with his picture and a touch up kit and the YouTube "tutorials"... The film part would help build it up... where I am creating the prank but the doll will really twitch a corner of his eye or something... just enough to create intrigue :p
So the goal of the story is to convince the reader that the doll really is alive :p Did I do it? I love the part where it gets a glimpse of himself when he is trying to sneak up on me as I sleep. His outline is sort of like a scarecrow-ish one, like you would see a shadow of one looking like with the ragged hay sticking out of it's neck. Except it is showing dark soul energy that scares him.
I gave us a deadline too, I love that part. gives us all summer to create the story and build up the story! So, begin saving because his "buy now" price will be the $11,000 needed to get my B & H equipment :p
I was trying to work on S'happens today but kept drifting toward this so decided to just get a blog done and go back to my film. At a crucial part so taking my time and making sure I get the best idea!
Hope you enjoy a glimpse at my creative process! Share, comment, like and follow me!
hugs,
~Sea
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