Woot, starting ball rolling!!
Woot, starting ball rolling!!
Some of you know I am on a quest to get back my homeland! I started the ball rolling today, finally!
I have been thinking of it forever really...
I have been applying for grants and feel like it is so close! I am planning 4 documentaries around this subject, 2 journalism pieces and 2 serious.
The first Journalism one is the basic story, a girl half erased trying to figure out how to stop it from continuing. How they pretend to stop the erasure but every moment and action is designed to further erase her.
How this is not a story of hate and shame but strength and beauty of our people! It is very easy to hate, but that does not make it a good thing to do. That anger can feel like a sort of "power" or energy but it is not a real one. It is like an energy drink sort of thing, yes, a quick boost but then a crash. That crash harms me alone so this is not a good idea!
I can remember a poster on a wall somewhere that was about breaking the cycle of hate. It really spoke to me. There I was, a half erased young girl, and this was back when white people were allowed to be as hateful and hurtful as they wanted because no one cared about 'dirty natives', so struggling with this concept of "hate".
I saw it as twofold, even back then. I understood part of the message was that this trouble we found ourselves in was "passed down" to us rather then dumped on us by the white people. The idea that they were not responsible was part of the clear message, but done subtle like most of their ways are. The main part was that you can end it, you can choose to end it by how you live and act.
I will write it in one of my books, or put it in an episode, that feeling we were taught that to care about what happened to you was being selfish and greedy. I know white people like to pretend that kind of thinking was over ages ago but it happened in our lifetime! We must all ask ourselves how, though we know the answer already.
One thing my mom said to me was "do not let the things that happen to you become who you are". Such profound wisdom in that, boggles the mind if you find a quiet spot and really think about it.
So the bones of this idea were already there when I saw that poster. What is funny is I can not remember what it actually looked like. I picture it black background, some sort of swirl circle maybe?
How does one actually break a cycle though?
It is not hard, it is a mindset. I guess being indigenous it is easier since we see it all connected where Europeans were taught to see it as all separate. So they could cheat the parts individually and pretend it did not matter to the whole since it was no longer connected. But you can say the arm is no longer connected to the body. You can invent "advanced degrees" to prove it is so even. You can even force people to repeat it. But each person knows that their arm is in fact connected to the rest of them. So you are not fooling anyone really. And the rest of us watching you may or may not be hiding smirks...just saying... hehe.
Lost focus... ahem... So,ball rolling... Attu...
Oh yeah! I applied for a grant and if I get it I will be able to actually see an Unangan village! Imagine being 50 years old and never even seen an indigenous village! I have seen this one:
Pukuk charter boat
Isnt it amazing? I so want one of my own! I plan to go this Spring, so wish me luck!
But the first steps... I have written my native corporation about it, how to go about visiting it, what types of boat we will need, and how to get it back as a real reservation...
Hopeful!! Feels so close! Soon...
Some of you know I am on a quest to get back my homeland! I started the ball rolling today, finally!
I have been thinking of it forever really...
I have been applying for grants and feel like it is so close! I am planning 4 documentaries around this subject, 2 journalism pieces and 2 serious.
The first Journalism one is the basic story, a girl half erased trying to figure out how to stop it from continuing. How they pretend to stop the erasure but every moment and action is designed to further erase her.
How this is not a story of hate and shame but strength and beauty of our people! It is very easy to hate, but that does not make it a good thing to do. That anger can feel like a sort of "power" or energy but it is not a real one. It is like an energy drink sort of thing, yes, a quick boost but then a crash. That crash harms me alone so this is not a good idea!
I can remember a poster on a wall somewhere that was about breaking the cycle of hate. It really spoke to me. There I was, a half erased young girl, and this was back when white people were allowed to be as hateful and hurtful as they wanted because no one cared about 'dirty natives', so struggling with this concept of "hate".
I saw it as twofold, even back then. I understood part of the message was that this trouble we found ourselves in was "passed down" to us rather then dumped on us by the white people. The idea that they were not responsible was part of the clear message, but done subtle like most of their ways are. The main part was that you can end it, you can choose to end it by how you live and act.
I will write it in one of my books, or put it in an episode, that feeling we were taught that to care about what happened to you was being selfish and greedy. I know white people like to pretend that kind of thinking was over ages ago but it happened in our lifetime! We must all ask ourselves how, though we know the answer already.
One thing my mom said to me was "do not let the things that happen to you become who you are". Such profound wisdom in that, boggles the mind if you find a quiet spot and really think about it.
So the bones of this idea were already there when I saw that poster. What is funny is I can not remember what it actually looked like. I picture it black background, some sort of swirl circle maybe?
How does one actually break a cycle though?
It is not hard, it is a mindset. I guess being indigenous it is easier since we see it all connected where Europeans were taught to see it as all separate. So they could cheat the parts individually and pretend it did not matter to the whole since it was no longer connected. But you can say the arm is no longer connected to the body. You can invent "advanced degrees" to prove it is so even. You can even force people to repeat it. But each person knows that their arm is in fact connected to the rest of them. So you are not fooling anyone really. And the rest of us watching you may or may not be hiding smirks...just saying... hehe.
Lost focus... ahem... So,ball rolling... Attu...
Oh yeah! I applied for a grant and if I get it I will be able to actually see an Unangan village! Imagine being 50 years old and never even seen an indigenous village! I have seen this one:
Pukuk charter boat
Isnt it amazing? I so want one of my own! I plan to go this Spring, so wish me luck!
But the first steps... I have written my native corporation about it, how to go about visiting it, what types of boat we will need, and how to get it back as a real reservation...
Hopeful!! Feels so close! Soon...
Comments
Post a Comment
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on my thoughts...