Intro Coming Soon

Intro coming soon...

My real life friends are the ones commenting and one mentioned I tend to skip around a lot and that it might be hard to follow if they don't know me already.

 I use this as a chat space more then thinking out a blog post then writing it, so it jumps around as my mind does as I sit here.  So I will create an intro to help explain my projects, dreams, etc. so reading this will make more sense.

This is me:  Searean Moon

I use the same beginning and ending "labels" for this blog:  Attu and Unangan.  Attu is where I am from and we are called Unangan.  I want to create a page on Attu, hopefully featuring pics I take there myself!  I applied for funding to get there so hopefully one of them will happen soon!  We have a unique perspective and I hope to show that even through tragic times we retain our beauty and spirit!

Bride of Sorrows (BOS) is the theme I am launching our company with, M TOMA Inc. is my new media company.  We plan to create Unangan-themed media, novels, computer games, graphic novels, animated movies and films based around the BOS theme.  It connects 1,000 different lives lived and takes place in the ancient past, pre-contact past (a bit closer to our times), modern times and future times!  It has a lot of content and will hopefully create interest in our other projects.

I am currently working with someone local to help create a True Crime TV show.  It is a valuable experience for me and I hope everyone gets to watch it soon!  Networking is important for those just starting out!  It inspired me to create a sort of true crime tv show of my own!  so we may produce that one together or I may do it on my own name, not sure yet.

My new horror movie, I thought of a cool werewolf one while watching American Werewolf in London the other night.  I love those movies and thought it would be so cool to have an "American Werewolf in Alaska"!  then it occurred to me:  hey, you are a script writer, go for it!  but as I wrote down my ideas it ventured away from the American Werewolf style too much for me, but I still love it.  Once I get it properly scripted I will begin trying to get funding to make it.  It will be perfect experience for my BOS stuff!  This one will give me excellent practice making special effects!

I think I also talk about general life stuff, like trying to become vegan, being more frugal, and other stuff that occurs to me as I sit here thinking of you guys.  I hope to inspire and encourage woman to try writing/directing/creating more!  I just turned 50 so you are never too old to dream!  or try!

hugs,  ~Sea

Buttercream

Buttercream

What is it about buttercream ruffles that makes me love it so..

This one I think is so wonderful, it is like being hugged!!!

Except for the top, so wish it was done in this style:

I so want to be able to decorate cakes!  I think my talent is more for writing/directing then baking and decorating though...  I will upload the pics of my 50th birthday cake where we tried to copy her cake but in purple and black...  hehe, epic fail I think it is called  :p  But I blame the hot kitchen from cooking the b-day dinner hehe...

I found a good vegan buttercream and we made a perfect batch the other day.  We did not try the ruffles just regular spreading it on, but it was so yummy!  I think that fondant cant match it for looks, though some fondant decorations are adorable, that is true.  I think true cake beauty though is making it with buttercream!   I can remember at a sleepover and the older sister had made the birthday cake and it was amazing.  She opened her own bakery even, she was so good at it!

I was remembering that because at that same sleep over we had done the spooky listening to that Edgar Allen Poe Halloween tape of Tell-Tale Heart...  funny how associations form in your mind!  I think it is what makes a good writer/director is knowing associations like this exist and using that to help connect your story.  It is funny though, because I do come to YouTube and watch buttercream ruffle decoration to relax and unwind.  My favorite one can relax my neck muscles as I watch, just get such a calm sweet feeling like being hugged somehow.  The 2 colors I guess, arms intertwined or something sweet like that...  Or maybe it is the topper, the candy cane in a heart shape that makes me think it though I dont think that top is elegant enough for the cake  :p

I wonder when I will make a perfect buttercream ruffle cake.  I can picture it, this perfect cake.  Maybe I will do it in a movie, a sad, lonely lady walking in the slow aimless way you do when you have no where to go to right then.  Not quite slumped, she is not depressed, just feeling a bit lonely.  Since my newest movie I am writing is a werewolf horror one, could be that it is close to the next full moon...  But she is sad and walking and sees an open bakery so stops in for a coffee.  The decorator has a big order with 4 cakes to do the lady half watches as she sips her coffee.

Yeah, it is half interesting but not enough to pull her dark thoughts away, so she sips her coffee slowly.  When you have nowhere to go, you can take all the time in the world over a hot cup of coffee.  But then the lady gets to her last cake and begins doing it differently.  No rolling of fondant here, she has a piping bag full of frosting.  It is shades of blue and as she begins piping the lady notices her more.  Somehow the piping of the buttercream captures her interest and the coffee is held halfway to her mouth as she watches the lady sweep in slow waves up the side of the cake.

The lady decorating the cake has found a zen moment now, buttercream ruffles are tiring but look so good.  She feels like she is accomplishing something real, something kind even.  She feels it strongly and looks up and catches a customer, her only customer looking at her.

The lady sipping coffee is almost holding her breath, wanting this peaceful moment to last.  The lady decorating the cake somehow banished the sadness away.  She wants to offer the goddess a prayer for this decorator and at that moment the lady looks right at her as if she heard her.  Their eyes dazzle a moment before the spell is broken.  They both look away at the same time.  the customer, no longer sad and lonely leaves a large tip and exits as the scene fades to black...

hugs  ~Sea

Hot Glue Gun Fun!

Hot Glue Gun fun!

I wish I had pics to show you since I am having so much fun with this!  But I am waiting to spray paint them until Spring when I can use my shed, snowed like a foot overnight.

Alien crown look, she also does one on the makeup too

She is very talented and got me interested in trying to create glue gun stuff.  I am still on basic masks since I bought a very cheap glue gun to play with to see if I liked it or not.  Turns out I do!  So now I am planning to buy a better one this Spring. She did a review of hot glue guns too!

I also plan to do some of the props with it, like in this video:

Wallpaper-ish idea!!

and this:

Except instead of that pretty tree, I would do something more creepy, like skeletons for my Nether Realm!  Learning I can do it on a budget but keep the big dreams!  Once I get the $$$  I am ready to go!

That is always what they say though, have contingency plans 1-5 at least!  Depending on budget!  So, right now I am at the empty pockets budget, but have a plan for several budgets!

your basic film making kit & crew a 3-level guide

But I think I can do the make up effects by myself if we end up super low budget!  I got inspired by a few of the Nyx Face Awards entries, especially one by Glam & Gore, her toxic mermaid one.  Here is her newest one where she uses hot glue instead of the gelatin, but now I have 2 options to play around with!

here is an example of our real culture:

But I plan to make it up based on my own sci-fi ideas and love of steam punk.  I believe that we traded with all the Peoples around the Pacific Ocean.  How could we travel so far?  Half talent and half magic, I am talking real life magic. I want to create the Pre-Contact tribe, full of magic and mystery!  I love steam punk and dark and creepy so will have a ball designing my realms! 

I am getting a lot better with the glue gun!  I think by the time we get the stuff to make the face casts that I will be really good at the hot glue gun!   I will post pics as soon as I get some!  I have one on my phone but it is not uploaded yet.  My first "ice" mask... came out pretty good!

Do you know of a make up or special effect artist that you think I should check out?  Let me know in the comments section!

Statistics for Blog

Statistics

Wow, was checking out the statistics and the one with the most views is the one titled "true war criminals".  Not sure if the title did it or because it was talking of Europe.



It is strange how life works, I do not understand the Western World, it just does not make sense to me!  I always say to all the 200,000,000 "good" people living on our lands to go back to Europe and I myself will personally deal with the dozen 'bad" ones left...

The blinders they put on to not see what is happening to us leaves them unable to see the "them" is now aiming at them...

It is why we need to teach #PreEco mentality!

We need to begin with honest dialog!

I know it is hard since Europeans have no defense for what they did.  It was wrong, period.

Let us acknowledge that and begin from there!  First steps are hard, but it must be taken!  Forget all the propaganda that was forced down your throats and think for yourself!

propaganda definition

A good place to start is with a philosopher of European descent named Renee Descartes.

Isnt that a beautiful thought?  No one wants to be told the answers or what to think!

Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it

or in other words "do not let the things that happen to you become who you are" quote from my mom...

So hopefully those who clicked on the war criminal one will also see this one and understand...  



hugs,  ~Sea

Script Done, Now What??

Script done, now what??

This is about where i find myself, so ready to go but still lacking a good equipment setup.  I know there are many of us in this same boat too!  They say you can use your iPhone if all else fails and I am seriously looking at accessories for it...

Wow, but hope it does not come to that.  I decided that I would apply for a documentary grant since there are so many stories to tell here!  I planned on doing a show based on a short story I wrote for my daughters.  Or naming it after that story and it would be on all things Alaska Indigenous, focusing on Unangan.  So that is alternate plan b-12, hehe...

So, how do we stay sane while waiting for a break?  We keep busy!  It is too easy to fall into a slump when you see all the bad shows getting funded!  And crowdfunded too!  I am surprised at what people fund...

Network is the advice that makes the most sense! I went on Craiglist to try networking and got lucky my first attempt! 

I want to get a job at this place since I read it is a good way to meet people you need to meet in the industry!

Talking Circle Media

Gorgeous Anchorage AK pic

My equipment still consists of my iPhone.  I plan on saving and buying the journalist kit from another blog entry first.  Just to be able to carry it easily and go!  There is a series I want to do around town, just for practice, and post it on my YouTube channel.   There are a couple I want to do, so much in planning stages!  But I think it will help when I finally sit and explain the whole package to the people I wanted to fund me, that they will see I put a lot of thought into it! 

Keep active because it is really good for your well-being in general and for your creative process too! 

hugs,  ~Sea

BOS Thoughts (Bride of Sorrows)

BOS thoughts...

I am in such a good mood, I can feel it all happening, like it is in the air.  I guess because I realized that while I do tend to dream big, that I can make it happen in other ways too!

My first idea was that I wanted a mostly Unangan cast.  That I would be asking them to learn and "stuff" with very little actual pay.  So I figured I needed a place for them to stay while they were in town.

I love browsing the real estate section, it is very fun for me to dream up buying properties and what I would do with them.  So when I saw this one, my mind immediately went to where I would stash my crew and cast while we learned the craft:

20 room "hostel" 

 I included it as part of my budget for the "trilogy of terror" films meant to kick off my media company.  Most probably don't live in town or cant afford to not work while learning my stuff so figured it was a "must have" for us...  

The studio space I wanted is off market right now, not sure if sold or just expired entry.  but it was a nice fenced building with 2 stories, 5 offices on one part and most of it was a 2-story warehouse that would be perfect for my film studio set up...  that was like $1,500,000 but mentioned to be taken seriously as a new industry we do need our own building.

But we figure we can get a small office at least and there are so many for lease too that it should be possible to find something that works for us.  Then wait to buy nice big building until we get a big break with a film!

I am doing my best to make the true crime series interesting!  It will help get me known even if it is only on the web at first before being bought.  From there I am scripting the werewolf one.  It should be a nice low budget horror to show my style and get us known even more.  By then I hopefully can convince the people I asked for funding to decide soon  :p

So, do dream big, plan it big but have contingency plans too!

~Do dream of a nice special effects course but begin learning what you can on your own!  Youtube is full of people willing to share what they know, so it is possible to find different styles and find one you like.  Until you can afford to bring them up yourself, get some practice in.  It is fun to try new things remember!

~Do dream of a 3 camera set up like you read of but practice on the iPhone.  use what you got!

~Do believe in yourself and your goals!  Dream but work hard too!

My BOS (Bride of Sorrows series) is progressing nicely in my head.  So much to do for it, but it will get there!  Blood (my tribe's blood), sweat (working hard here  :p  ) and tears (of pure joy at my art !!!)  hehe, I will capture them!

Soon...

hugs,

~Sea 

Ohhh and speaking of Contests...

Ohhh and speaking of Contests...

I cant wait to find out how I did in one I entered awhile ago.  I think they decide the winners soon!!

Imagining Indigenous Futurisms contest

I wrote the story then turned it into a tv series to go along with the BOS theme!  I cant wait to hear how I did though.  Even if I did not win, it is all good because I have a story to show for a new crowdfund campaign and for grant applications...

Feeling lucky  :p

hugs,

~Sea

Stop the Insanity!!

Stop the Insanity!!

Wow, what is with the spy mentality with everything nowadays?  You cant do anything anymore without it wanting you to link everything together.

Tried to enter a contest but I cant install instagram on this computer because it has a different email attached to it and I have not linked them together...

Ugh!

Seriously, stop it!

All I wanted was to enter a contest to win some cool art supplies.  Did I think I would win, no, but that is not the point.  The fun in contests is in trying and hoping and seeing what everyone else has done...

Instagram (@Klairedelys)  
#OutsiderSeries

not worth the chance to win a few art supplies to allow people access to my stuff...  was reading an article about the newest Smart tv's and their agreement thingy...  that we allow them to access everything of ours just to get a good picture.

It is all part and parcel of them coming here and stealing our lands...  corruptness breeds corruptness...  grrrrrrr...

so here is a fun quick coloring of her art...  enjoy!

Ohhh and dont forget to use #PreEco :p

hugs  ~Sea

Script Writing

Script Writing

I really enjoy it, I wanted to talk a bit about it, to other writers out there wondering about it. But I usually end up getting in the writing mood late at night and my mind wanders something fierce so I do apologize!  but do enjoy the ride!

I do believe anyone can write but not everyone is a 'writer'.  It takes a certain kind of creative mind to conceive an idea and then put it down on paper.  It is fun and something I really want to do as my "job".  Right now I am calling myself "director/writer/producer" because a small indie company wont succeed unless the main person can do more then one of the required jobs!

The best way to find out is to finish one project.  If you think you want to write novels, finish one!  I think so many can conceive an idea but then never actually sit down and write it until it is done...

Right now I have 3 finished feature length films,one in the style of "supernatural thriller", one in the style of "serial killer" and one in the style of "zombie apocalypse" all with what I am calling the Unangan twist  :p     I have a tv show (pilot and 6 episodes) completed.  So once I get the equipment I want, I am ready to hit the ground running!

I have ideas for the second season of that same tv show, not completed...
I have a realty tv show season in my mind but not completed...
I have another blah blah blah ~not completed...

It is easy to think of ideas, but you must finish them, or at least one to show that you can.

How did I manage to complete one?  Well, I have been working on the novels for ages and ages.  I conceived a sort of trilogy series that would be written at the same time, one thriller, one cozy cottage and one literature.  I kept jumping around and around, so tons of good ideas on each (each book in the series plus next books themes and so on) but none actually completed.  I got another idea for a more Indigenous series and began working on that one.  It became a theme I am calling the Bride of Sorrows.  It will include the trilogy I started earlier as one of her "lives".  I love the freedom it gives me while being a "whole".  

What really made me work to finish it was something silly...  Slash (the amazing guitarist) was getting divorced.  I told myself if I could get the films written and made in time I could maybe actually meet him.  I had seen his first movie and love the concept of his second.  I wanted us to be able to talk 'film" if we ever met.  I motivated myself by picturing what I really wanted and that it was within my reach.  Will I ever meet Slash?  Probably not.  Will he fall madly in love with my mind?  Probably not, besides I heard he loves the new/old girlfriend so...   But I got the trilogy written and completed!

I knew what was popular and tried to write one of each.  I think they will be very good.  My newest idea came to me the other night when watching American Werewolf in London again.  I pictured writing an Alaskan one and pictured it in my mind.  But I kept changing it from that style as I conceived it so it became my werewolf story instead of the next great American Werewolf, but that is ok.   Fans of that film will watch mine out of curiosity and that will make them want to see more of my work!

Self-Motivate!  No matter how silly it seems, no one has to know what it was!
Complete one script or novel, just do it!

Browse the funding sites.  A lot seem to be designed to draw you in and you buy their whatever in hopes it will show you are serious about it.  A real one will look at your talent and not your purchases.  Not to say I haven't bought stuff out of curiosity.  Most were bought on super sales where they wanted like $140 but on sale now for $25.  I wanted to check I was not missing something important.  I wasn't... but apply for ones you think you have half a shot at!  But don't buy their courses unless you can easily afford such things!  If you can easily afford such things you can always hire me to babysit you through the novel (as long as you travel up here to Anchorage to finish it) hehe...  

So dont think you need to spend money on their courses or whatever.  If you are a writer, then write!  It truly is as simple as that!  Join a community, either in real life or online to meet others.  It is how I got this tv true crime job.  Watching D4Darious saying to network! 

I wanted to find someone who needed my talents (director/writer/producer/determined) and found this true crime group.  It is really good advice.  I am working on it a lot, but it is a great experience!  I will make just enough to get the special effect stuff to begin practicing that.  But it is great for me!  Not only gaining valuable experience but making some $$    D4Darious is a good channel to watch for ideas and confidence!  His site is great advice and fun to watch!  Just binge on him some afternoon! 

I plan to do my werewolf movie as my next big project.  I want to be better before I do my BOS stuff...  So, this will draw in a lot since it wont take long to film, isnt a big cast, and we can finish filming in 10 days. Course it might take me longer to do the editing, but it will be time well spent!  Making the special effects will teach me a lot and my crew will get better faith in me!

We are creating a new word, not thought of it yet...

A neologism ...

Prehistoric
Ecology
"Preeco" ~one of European descent who believes in Nature and follows indigenous ways and respects them as the rulers of these lands.

#Preeco #neologism

Eh, will do for now (tis 2am here) and can pretty it up in the morning!

So, believe in yourself.  I have already gotten 5 rejected funding applications but each one spurs me to try harder, work better, think smarter, refine and hone my talent!  The big one I am hoping for, I have not heard yet, so staying positive and showing I am learning and working toward my goal!

I believe I put "raised 4 daughters so am excellent at multitasking with no budget" as my main experience and reason to fund me  :p   They must not have been as impressed as I expected, but I like to think it dazed them and they are reeling in the glory of my talent  :p    Life is our experience and what we use as writers, so never be ashamed to put down what you do or did! 


Hugs ~Sea

Frugal Living

Frugal Living

I have not forgotten that I planned to talk about this some more.  I think the biggest and best change you can make is in the way you eat.  Besides saving money by preparing your own meals, you also improve your health at the same time.  So you are feeling better and mentally refreshed when you see you managed to save some money, even if it is only $40 or so!  It is  start and every bit helps and does count.

I think learning Asia style meals is a huge saving idea.  Initially, it seems too expensive since there is a lot you need to get started, but it lasts a long time.  A good rice cooker is important.  It is a good way to have something to hand, especially if your family does not all eat at the same time.

It is myself and my 4 adult daughters living here.  We love Asian food and have become very good at stir fry.  But we work different times and places right now.  We hope to start our media company and devote ourselves to that full time but until then, we work and try to save money.  A rice cooker is good because it can store the rice easily for when they get home.  So, do invest in one!

The sauces seem so expensive and make you worry you cant afford to eat Asian style food, but each sauce bottle lasts a very long time since you only use drops at a time!  Really, a few drops of one are all you need to flavor your dish.  It is hard to know what flavor you like best, so teriyaki is always a safe choice.  We don't use "soy sauce" because one of my daughters has an allergy to it.  But we find if it is mixed in another flavor she can usually handle it.  We personally love House of Tang so I can recommend it to you as a safe choice!

House of Tang sauces

This is one we use the most "Classic Sauce" so if you are unsure, try it out.

This one we love also, though it is hard to find at times.  It is one we have learned to grab when we see it in stock  :p  There are many others that are good, but these 2 are the ones we use the most.

It is also a good idea to get a steamer set, these you can find anywhere I think, those bamboo things.  We are not quite expert at this one as we are the rice cooker though  :p  but steamed veggies are delicious anytime!

A wok is something we buy but manage to somehow break.   So we are saving to buy a nice good quality one when it is on sale.  Until then, our normal pans with wooden spatulas works fine.

Besides Asian food though, learning to love salads again.  I mean, even with the weird outbreaks you read about with e coli or such, it is still a very healthy choice ~ if you don't overload it with toppings!  People think 'salad is safe" and then add so much that they would have been better off just eating a slice of pizza!  Learn to love greens!  I think I do more in a protein drink then I do as a salad though :p 

We bought a little "Moroccan roaster" that has proven so useful as it is a small size and there are usually only 2 here for lunch.  It has such a cute shape too!

The bottom half can be used alone too, I sometimes use it to bake my oatmeal bar cookies. 


Baking is a trade off since I see a lower food budget but a higher electric bill... I do love baked foods though I think we mostly try to stay with a quick stir fry most days.

Soups was another area, though we have not found a good way to make them taste good the next day.  I guess we add so much to the main pot that overnight it overpowers itself.  We are working on fixing this.  It is also a bit hard since one loves her beans a bit crunchier then the rest of us  :p  But soup is filling and the smell of it cooking all day can make you feel full on a small salad!


We are what I used to call "turning" vegetarian and now we are "turning" vegan.  We do buy donuts once in awhile and know they are not exactly vegan or vegetarian even, but so good once in awhile.  Though I found since we began turning vegan we don't love them as much as we used to.  So it went from a monthly treat to maybe three times a year.

ok, so this is not exactly a good 'how to be frugal' as just basic tips I guess.  I think it is because I feel we are still at the beginning stages of it.  Learning to sew was something I am teaching the girls.  Mainly for our film company, to be able to make the costumes ourselves.  I had the idea that we would buy the fabrics and let the costumer sewers come and sew them for us, but those big ideas are becoming much more realistic if also frustrating!  :p

I think most know we are planning to kick our our multi media company with a trilogy of horror and I had hoped to get a huge grant/loan from this one group that is not working out quite as I had hoped, though I have not heard a 'no' yet.  I keep them updated each new development and think someday...  but until then we will need to go ahead as if, you know "this" (holds up empty hands) is what we have to build upon...

So, we can do a pretty good basic skirt.  We do elastic bands so we can switch it to pleated or a-line or whatever when we feel we are better at it.  We have not tried a top yet, mainly because we are very busy with lots of projects on the burners.  I am learning hot glue masks too.  super cool, I will show them once I spray paint them (probably not until Spring when we can use the shed to do it).  I am getting good at it but cant wait until we can do the face casts and do it like that!

So much to learn, makes live so worth living!  How we will do it step by step... It becomes a good cycle...  I will get us whole again!  I can feel it is so close!  So many of the Unangan feel it too, not just me.

It is "in the air", this call Home!

But back to frugal living.  It is the mindset of the Unangan, of my tribe!  We wasted nothing, if we did not know what to do with a certain part we would save it until we realized what it was for.  I can remember my mom saved the tall tin cans that coffee grounds used to come in, anyone remember those?  She would have a bunch in the bottom cupboards and they would be full of things like onion skins.  It would make me so curious as to why she would save such useless seeming items.  But at Easter they became the dye for the eggs!  I miss my mother so much!

So, it is easy to begin being frugal.  Start thinking if there is a better way to have something.  Making a mocha at home is much cheaper then going out for coffee.  Buy one special cup to carry it in and enjoy how sweet it tastes knowing you saved money! 

I will write more later, getting lost in reminiscing...
hugs  ~Sea 

The Ups and Downs of Grant Searching...

The Ups and Downs of Grant Searching...

Isn't it such a roller coaster ride, the search for the grant to help get you started..  That thrill when you think you found one that will be a good match with you and apply.

All that hoping and dreaming, that soon this could be me:

No idea who she is, but probably part of some birding group...  We always hear it is too polluted, too dangerous to go, yet is seems others are able to go there.... 

 The people who used to live there...

My mother and the guy who would have been my father are in there somewhere...  Instead of the indigenous beautiful skin and facial features, I look very pale in comparison...  How I wish I would look more on the outside that i feel on the inside! 

But I thought I wrote a compelling grant proposal but there are so many in distress that it is hard to choose which to help.  I do not mind others getting the help, I am sure there is too much hardship in the world...

But the excitement I felt after I submitted it, the dreams!  I so wish to visit there! I want it to be my home!  I am sure most of us are too westernized to live there 24/7/352 but it should be our choice!

I planned and thought and dreamed and pictured it all in my mind.  I felt so sure I even mentioned it to my sisters, that I should hear by January if I got it and that we would all go there once together...  I hope to find one soon that will support it.  Ours is such a tragic story, it really should be known.

I mean, if people heard about it, they would be amazed and not believe it could happen in America...  but it did and we suffer for it...

It is not a story of hate and revenge but beauty and hope.  It would inspire the world.  to never, ever give up on your dreams, never ever give up on other people, to believe it is meant to be and will be.

I have such an idea that would truly rock the world too...  It is my Bride of Sorrows theme.  The most cursed girl in the history of all the realms, doomed to a thousand deaths.  But we do not dwell on the negative, for a woman born under this curse, over and over, will most likely not have a happy life...but it will be an interesting one!  1,000 lives told in film, books, video games...

Here is an except from a page about our People:

Life on Attu was good.

The beauty of the island, with its 3,500-

foot mountainous peaks, abundance of

birdlife, and its people, survived for over

2,000 years. According to their legends

Attuans believed that their island was

the “beginning of the world.” It was said

that on Attu everything grew better and

tasted better than anywhere else. History

shows that the people who lived on this

island were peaceful, happy and content. 

It is a part of our being, the idea that we are the beginning of the world, hehe, and my story is a sort of creationist one...  You see, our Art is more then just a pretty picture kind of thing, it must be useful as well.  My writing is Art and my films, games, etc. will be creating an economy for us, our Art becoming more... Just as my ancestors did it!  Dont let us be erased, you will lose a fabulous gift!

but back to the roller coaster ride...  just heard today that I did not get that grant, too many need it and only a few can get it.  So from high hopes to feelings of inadequacy!  Mom entrusted me with this charge, to help our people as best I can, show the world our beauty, help get our home back... I know I will not fail in the long run, I will get it done, I just wish it was a bit easier!

How do you handle it?  The feeling you are stuck on a little hamster wheel, sincerely trying your best and trying to shake the feeling they are doing this just to giggle at you...  Put it into a good light!  Imagine you are getting good practice at amusing them, so when we get our first film completed they will watch it because it is a novelty.  But it will capture them!  And they will want more...  hehe...  hugs and take care and do not let the rejections get you down for too long!  Never give up on your dreams!  ~Sea

Which camera...

Which camera...

I am always going back and forth on this...  I saw this first and absolutely fell in love with the idea :

Sony Journalism Backpack


Just under $10,000 and can wear it on your back.  So can run around and when you find a story you want to tell, just whip it out and go!

Then there is the Sony A7s models...  everyone says that it is best to get the A7S and Atomos since you can get it used cheap since everyone else is getting this:

Sony F5 plus A7s Mark II 

For just under $20,000 plus accessories...  wow, huh!  
But they say you can get the older model to train and learn on for cheaper...

Adorama camera & Shogun ~just under $5,000

then we get into the yummy ones!

Dream Camera!! but $$$$$$ worth it, but $$$$$


I have so many ideas and dreams, cant wait for first real video camera to begin it all!

But can feel it is just around the corner!  The tv show I am helping develop is going very well too!  so life is good!

hugs,

~Sea

Woot, starting ball rolling!!

Woot, starting ball rolling!!

Some of you know I am on a quest to get back my homeland!  I started the ball rolling today, finally!

I have been thinking of it forever really...

I have been applying for grants and feel like it is so close!  I am planning 4 documentaries around this subject, 2 journalism pieces and 2 serious.

The first Journalism one is the basic story, a girl half erased trying to figure out how to stop it from continuing.  How they pretend to stop the erasure but every moment and action is designed to further erase her.

How this is not a story of hate and shame but strength and beauty of our people!  It is very easy to hate, but that does not make it a good thing to do.  That anger can feel like a sort of "power" or energy but it is not a real one.  It is like an energy drink sort of thing, yes, a quick boost but then a crash.  That crash harms me alone so this is not a good idea!

I can remember a poster on a wall somewhere that was about breaking the cycle of hate.  It really spoke to me.  There I was, a half erased young girl, and this was back when white people were allowed to be as hateful and hurtful as they wanted because no one cared about 'dirty natives', so struggling with this concept of "hate".

I saw it as twofold, even back then.  I understood part of the message was that this trouble we found ourselves in was "passed down" to us rather then dumped on us by the white people.  The idea that they were not responsible was part of the clear message, but done subtle like most of their ways are.  The main part was that you can end it, you can choose to end it by how you live and act.

I will write it in one of my books, or put it in an episode, that feeling we were taught that to care about what happened to you was being selfish and greedy.  I know white people like to pretend that kind of thinking was over ages ago but it happened in our lifetime!  We must all ask ourselves how, though we know the answer already.

One thing my mom said to me was "do not let the things that happen to you become who you are".  Such profound wisdom in that, boggles the mind if you find a quiet spot and really think about it.

So the bones of this idea were already there when I saw that poster.  What is funny is I can not remember what it actually looked like.  I picture it black background, some sort of swirl circle maybe?

How does one actually break a cycle though?

It is not hard, it is a mindset.  I guess being indigenous it is easier since we see it all connected where Europeans were taught to see it as all separate.  So they could cheat the parts individually and pretend it did not matter to the whole since it was no longer connected.  But you can say the arm is no longer connected to the body.  You can invent "advanced degrees" to prove it is so even.  You can even force people to repeat it.  But each person knows that their arm is in fact connected to the rest of them.  So you are not fooling anyone really.  And the rest of us watching you may or may not be hiding smirks...just saying...  hehe.

Lost focus... ahem...  So,ball rolling... Attu...

Oh yeah!  I applied for a grant and if I get it I will be able to actually see an Unangan village!  Imagine being 50 years old and never even seen an indigenous village!  I have seen this one:

Pukuk charter boat

Isnt it amazing?  I so want one of my own!  I plan to go this Spring, so wish me luck!

But the first steps...  I have written my native corporation about it, how to go about visiting it, what types of boat we will need, and how to get it back as a real reservation...

Hopeful!!  Feels so close!  Soon...